Hanoi: Like an eel Ouroboros

I checked into my hotel, showered, and spent an hour or so relaxing.  Then I went out to get my train ticket.  There was only one shop I could find that would book train tickets and they didn't seem to book the private tourist trains--only the public ones, and the times were awful.  Basically I either left at 3AM or I arrived at 4AM.  I checked online and found out the tourist trains could be booked at the train station, so I hopped on a cab.  I got to the station and the lady at the ticket counter told me I had to go next door to book the Livitrans tickets--the tourist ones.  Unforutnately, LIvitrans is also closed on Sundays.  Why did today have to be Sunday--why!  I relented and booked a the public train that arrived in Hanoi at 4AM.  I met a guy from Denmark at the station who was having difficulty understanding the train schedule. I explained it to him and then we shared tales of torment related to us and the Vietnamese train system.  We arranged to meet for drinks and pizza later in the day.  I walked back to my hotel and watched some Supernatural.  Then I went to the pizza joint early and had a few drinks at the bar until my new friend arrived.  I don't remember his name, but he pretty much convinced me to go to Laos after I heard his stories.  He was good company and I thought my adventure in Danang was quite a success despite how undertraveled it is, but it wasn't over yet.  The next morning I got up with just enough time to trek down to Bread of Life and get biscuits and gravy.  They were opened.  There was one lady in there--a foreigner--Brittish, perhaps.  Then another foreigner came out of the back--she was the owner.  A portly lady of intimidating stature with hair like a permed mop.  She was American, from all over the US but mostly the areas in the center.  I commented that I had read they had biscuits and gravy but was unable to find it on the menu, but I emphasized that it wasn't that big of a deal since just about everything sounded amazing.  She told me that they did in fact have biscuits and gravy, and that it just wasn't on the menu because it confuses people that are from Europe, who expect biscuits will be sweet.  Well that makes sense.  I was glad I asked.  Then as I was ordering the biscuits and gravy, she told me they also have another even more secret menu item, the Southern Star--biscuits and gravy and scrambled eggs.  Well boy howdy, that sounds perfect.  These were the best biscuits and gravy hands down.  The main reason is that the biscuits are more of a hybrid, biscuit and english muffin, meaning, she uses them to satisfy both words.  They were denser and less buttery than a biscuit, but moister and more fluffy than an english muffin.  It was perfect really.  This really topped of my visit.  Now I'm actually glad I decided to do the grueling 3 sleeper train journey instead of a 2 hour flight.  It took some effort to move myself to the train station after this feast, but I made it and got on my final train.   Unfortunately I was in a hard sleeper and on the top bunk--and the train left at 10 AM.  This is easily, the worst combination of depature times and train classes/bed elevations possible.  The 2nd class train cars are only beds.  The top bunk is too tall to be able to sit up in.  Nobody wants to lie down for 16 hours straight.  I tried to watch episodes of Supernatural in my bed until my laptop battery died.  Then I hung out in the dining car and drank verrry slowly.  Next I tried to charge my laptop in the one outlet next to the sinks by the bathroom, but I had to stand near it just in case someone decided to make off with it.  It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either.  I did make friends with a younger girl in the next compartment to mine who spoke pertty good English and I sat in her car, where she had the bottom bunk, and we chatted while an elder lady sat across and laughed at us randomly throughout.

The train arrived at about 4:30AM.  I woke up with plenty of energy to get myself up and stay up.   I exited the train to find lots of men offering taxis.  This I thought wierd, as I hadn't actually exited the station yet, so I ignored them.  There were lots more taxis outside the station, so I got the attention of one and showed him the card I had for the hostel I booked.  It wasn't very far, but I was a bit worried when we got there because it was completely dark.  I got out and yanked on the door--locked.  Crap.  What the heck.  I yanked again and something moved inside.  A guy was alseep at the desk.  He opened the door up and I said that I had a reservation and proceeded to try and explain that I didn't care if the room was ready could I just come in and sit on the--he didn't care.  All he heard was "can I check in".  He said "No," and shut the door.  Wow.  At least my taxi was there--he didn't need me to ask, he knew I needed a place to stay, so he drove around the block, stopping at the next 5 or so guesthouses.  Most weren't open--the ones that were were just the night watch people and they couldn't check me in.  Finally we swung into  hotel--a nice hotel.  A 50 dollar a night hotel (which is lush for Vietnam).  It was the only place that would let me check in so I took it. Then I gave the taxi drive money and he drove off with my change.  I was going to let him keep most of the change as a tip anyway, but it wasn' t the most honest of ways for him to recieve it.  I got into the room and crashed for a bit, then woke up and booked my flight to Laos.  While I was booking it I went back and forth between pages, with flights to Japan, Laos, and Shanghai.  I was a click away from going to either of these places.  Finally I decided to do Laos--my flight was booked for the next morning.  I gchatted Antonin and found out his work was a mere 3 blocks away from my hotel, so we met for a nice lunch on the street, some coffee, and then a nice walk around a more businessy part of Hanoi--way nicer than the backpacker area.  It was a really nice way to end my trip in Vietnam, in the city I had started in, but with a much better impression than on my initial visit.   

Danang: Glad not to have skipped

Danang wasn't supposed to be a good city for backpackers.  I had gotten off here on my way down, but immediately took a taxi to nearby Hoi An, which, I could tell, all the other backpackers were doing.   I instead was going to get a cheap room in Danang and then find the next available train to Hanoi.  I took a taxi to the Prince hotel, listed in my lonely planet.  It was cheap and located close to the downtown area.  Danang didn't look especially different than the other mid sized Vietnamese towns, except it was supposed to be the 3rd largest city in the country.  That is some population bell curve slope.  I wasn't able to check into my hotel until 10 AM, which was understandable, so I left my bag there and walked around to scour out some delicious, hearty breakfast.  I was absolutely feeling something along the lines of Waffle House.  I wanted something that sizzled with a southern accent.  My lonely planet said there is a place that serves Biscuits and Gravy  called "Bread of Life".  It wasn't far.  I happily skipped the entire way.  Then, tragedy struck--it was closed on Sundays.  I was nearly devestated.  I walked into a vietnamese coffee place next door and sat down, ignoring the penetrating stares of the local men playing a chess like game with oversized pieces that looked to be made by Fischer Price.  I don't understand why there are so many Vietnamese coffee-tea places that only serve drinks.  I always want some food with my coffee.  I hung out there for a bit, then walked around for an incredibly long time, looking for another breakfast place.  I did so many laps around the neighborhood I worked up an even greater hunger; eventually I gave up and went to a place that had random mixed dishes in a buffet style cart that are served on a bed of rice.   It was fine.  They were nice and they didn't seem to laugh at me too much.

Halong Bay:Pirates and Monkeys and it smells of purple

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Halong bay trip today.  Every possible source of review that I have read has been consistent in its high praise of this trek, such that it seemed unnatural, like when people are so nice that it seems strange.  Ashley and Helen were on the tour too, but they had just signed up for 1 night wheras I had chosen 2 (for about 100 bucks).  We had to take a 4 hour bus ride.   The ride was not the most relaxing--to put it in perspective, I was reading at a pace of about 1 page every 5 minutes due to the bounciness caused by either the crappy roads or the lack of a suspension system on the bus.  The tourist trap that we stopped at on the way was worth it, because they sold mangos for like 50 cents and peeled and cut them for you.  I've had a hard time describing the amazing flavor of the mangos in Asia, but I've finally found an apt way to do it: they are sweet and chemically in a good way.

So the harbor looked like something out of Pirates of The Carribean or Monkey Island.  If only our boat was called "The Threepwood", that woulda made it.  All the boats were of a similar construction, dark wood, very old feeling.  Nothing that looked even remotely out of the last two centuries.

We had a guide and his name was Bien.  Despite being what I would consider "one quarter fluent" in English, he had no problem talking a lot.  I mean, really a lot.  His introduction speech lasted for over an hour (on the bus).  It kinda became a joke among the other passengers, the verbosensss.  I know he meant well, but wow, that mouth was running on Uranium.
Overll the tour was amazing.  The scenery was beautiful and the weather was perfect.  There were a lot of other tourist boats around, but it didn't detract from the experience.  In fact, it was really serence to see a hundred boats an chored in the ocean, within reach from many small islands, rocking in the moonlight.  It could have been the set to Captain Blood.
On the first day we went inside some caves the origin of which I never figured out, but Bien lectured us for 30 minutes about as we stood at the entrance and watched 10 or so other tour groups march in past us.  I only had my sunglasses though, so I really got little out of the experience, as it was dark inside the cave, so it was either see clearly but only darkness or see blurry.  At least I got pics.

After the caves we got to do some sea kayaking.  I got paired up with the other solo traveler on our boat, Jess from South Africa.  We got gutsy and treked off kinda far and kinda pretended we didn't hear Bien say to go for only 45 minutes.   We went through this tunnel and found little secluded inlet.  It was like this giant rock was the head of a giant Neandertal floating in the water, mouth open, head hollow, with a little stream of drool marking the pathway in (and out).  Inside this "Neandertal Head" we saw a bunch of little monkeys climbing on the sheer cliff walls.  When I first noticed them out of the corner of my eye, I thought "spider" because that was how they were moving, but they were monkeys. Crazy.
Despite our tour being on the bottom end of cost I found it to be quite luxurious.  For example, our meals  included multiple courses and were usually served with artistic garnishes--this is not what I'd expect from a budget tour.  Honestly I would have been cool with sandwiches or instant noodles.  We slept on the boat the first night.  I was fearful that our global loquacious guide would attempt to lead us in song and possibly dance, but we were lucky to avoid it.

 Because dinner was at 8PM and I was still hungry at 9PM, and given the breakfast was to be served at 8 AM, I was the first one at the breakfast table, which was fancy, but only 1/4 the amount I would prefer.  Actually everyone was complaining not about the quality of the food, but the quantity.  We think they estimated based on what a normal Vietnamese person eats, which is far less than a Western person needs.  Let's face it, we are like twice their size.

The 1 Dayers left, which brought our group down to about 6.  We were taken to Cat Ba island where we did some biking to a small Village.  It really should be called Dog island, or Dog Zealand, because there are like 5 dogs for every person.  We cringed at the thought that they might have been the main food source.

After biking we did some more kayaking.  We treked to a small empty island and swam a bit.  It was fabulous.  There were lots of ladies rocking around in row boats selling stuff--ocean 7-11's.  Too bad they didn't sell cold beer.

 We spent the rest of our trip on a more populated portion of Cat Ba island.  We had the evening to ourselves.  The first thing Jess and I did with our freedom was visit a restaurant and get spring rolls, mango juice, and some random rice dishes.  Then 3 hours later, we ate the dinner that was provided with our tour, no problem.

On our last day we basically just road the boat back, met up with some more people on the way, and traveled back to Hanoi togethor.  I got back to the Rendevouz hostel with 30 minutes to spare before my train to Hue.  Ashley and Helen were there and were also on my train.  We got some quick eats and shared a cab to the train station.
The train was a sleeper and quite simply, a tropical bungalow on wheels.  It was as if they had hired an interior designer for it.  For some reason we got to board early.  Our hostel had booked our tickets for us, through a hotel that was next to the train station, and told us they would assist us in boarding.   My cabin had 4 beds, some complimentary snacks, tea, and sanitary wipes. We had to trek through all 11 train cars to get to the car that sold beer though. A couple from Paris were with me in my cabin, Antonin and Damia.  Antonin had been working in Hanoi for the last half year and gave a lot of education on Vietnam, like how they use a crap out of pesticides but all the farms were small and family owned.  Or how you could get fresh unpasteurized beer on the side of the road if you look for a sign that says, well, "fresh beer", but in Vietnamese.  The journey took about 12 hours.  In the morning we woke up and were in Hue, in Central Vietnam

Hanoi: walking is more like swimming

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I had the day to hang out in Hanoi.  I started by checking out the tours to Halong bay, which is the obvious most visited spot by travelers.  Eventually I settled for the cheap tour, not because I'm cheap, but because I didn't want to be on a tour with anyone going on a honeymoon.  The cheap tour came in at 100 dollars for 2 nights and 3 days.

I walked around by myself exploring the southern part of Hanoi.  I didn't find a lot of interesting stuff, but it was pleasant to just walk.  I stopped for street food a couple times too. I have found that in Vietnam I am only not hungry for about an hour of time about 30 minutes after I eat.  I'm averaging 6 meals a day here.  The portions are smaller, and I am quite a bit more active, so I think its well deserved.

I chatted with this girl from England who was staying in my dorm room and had been teaching english in Ho Chi Minh city for the last year.  We ventured off for some food in the evening together, then checked out the lake, then got some ice cream.  The ice cream was called Fanny, but it looked like the diner from Back to the Future.  After we got back from ice cream I felt in need of a haircut--haven't had one since September, so I asked at the hostel and they directed me to a shop close by.  It seemed to fit somewhere in between a barber and a salon, so not too bad.  It was run by a lady and her 3 daughters, who seemed to be in their teens.  She cut my hair, and they watched--literally from a foot away.  It was kinda creepy, but the haircut was really good and cost about 3 dollars.

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I was hoping to get on the Halong bay tour today, but it was full, so I had another day to bum around Hanoi.  I met two girls in the morning who had checked into my dorm room sometimes in the middle of the night while everyone else was sleeping.  They had just come from Korea where they had been teaching English (and are now finished).  We hung out for the day, reminiscing of our times in Korea. First we checked out the temple of Literature.  It had no books, nor did have anything to remind me of them.  The best part of that excursion was the spring rolls at the coffee shop next door, or the 2 girls who demanded pictures with me.

 Next we checked out the Ho Chi Minh mausoleum.  It wasn't open, but we went anyway.  The outside was very Tianeman square-ish.  Afterwards we walked back to our hostel.  We ate 6 meals that day together--it was well talked about and we were making bets throughout the day at how many we would get to.